That question isn’t just personal. It’s biblical. In 1 Timothy 5, Apostle Paul addresses the care of widows in the early church. But the principle he establishes reaches far beyond just widows

There is no doubt, the church is called to compassionately care for others. There are genuine unmet needs. There is real helplessness. And the body of Christ exists, in part, to be a safety net for those who have nowhere else to turn.

But Paul is careful. Before the church steps in, family should step up. Paul says in verses 3-4, “Honor widows who are truly widows. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.” He goes on to say later in verse 16, “If any believing woman has relatives who are widows, let her care for them. Let the church not be burdened, so that it may care for those who are truly widows.

When it comes to widows, children, grandchildren, and relatives should take the responsibility. God designed the family to be the first line of love and provision. And that principle extends to other categories of people in the family as well, not just widows.

Beloved, the church isn’t meant to replace what family can provide. It’s meant to fill the gap where family cannot.

Now, you might hear that and say, “Oh, that’s cold-hearted! The church should be more compassionate and generous.” Well, it’s not cold-hearted. It’s ordered. And yes, the church budget is likely much larger than your family budget, giving it deeper pockets, but its resources are limited, too, and it has many more people to consider. This order protects church assistance for those who are truly without.

But most importantly, it honors the way God designed human community to work. Care begins close: family first and church only when absolutely necessary. That’s not a loophole to get the church off the hook. That’s wisdom that helps families honor God by doing what they are supposed to do and, secondarily, leaves resources to assist those who need it most.

Change begins in you!